Modern-day society is plagued with multiple sources of fitnah surrounding Muslims at all times. Be it through social media, TV, the press, deviant cultural norms, etc., a believer’s iman is constantly being shaken and throttled. And the complexity of the matter is only amplified when you add ‘being married’ into the equation.
Marriage is a sacred and delicate covenant that requires constant nurturing and effort from the two parties involved.
Therefore, it’s incumbent upon all of us, married or single, to learn the various ways fitnah can impair a marriage, as well as learning how to prevent this.
The Fitnah of Fiction
Coming into a marriage with a mindset fuelled by fantastical and irrationally high expectations will risk the stability of any matrimony.For many Muslims, their only insight into what a ‘relationship’ will be like is through the fitnah of TV shows and social media couples. Both, no doubt, are major sources of fitnah, for several reasons, but in the context of sugar-coated expectations, they encourage many Muslims to adopt unrealistic ideas of what a marriage will look like.
Marriage, unarguably, is a blessing and a great sign from Allah تعالى, however, burdening it with sky-high expectations will taint its potential for greatness and khair with disappointment and grief instead.
For instance, matrimony can offer moments of true happiness; however, you’ll be blind to such moments if you went into marriage expecting a 24/7, never-ending joyride.
A Wondering Gaze
Constantly feeding your visual greed for more beauty of all kinds will prohibit you from ever feeling content with what you have, aka your current spouse. Islam commands both men and women to preserve their chastity through lowering their gaze and, of course, for good reason.
The nature of mankind is the more we look at, the more we’ll want. Thus, recklessly allowing your gaze to wander, obeying your lust and desires, aka looking beyond your spouse, will lead you wanting beyond your spouse.
Admiration For The Kuffar
This often happens subconsciously and takes the form of Muslims becoming lax and content with the idea of introducing the ways of the Kuffar into their marriages. Muslims often allow themselves to fall victim to this calamity by disregarding this ayah:
“Do not let your eyes crave what We have allowed some of the disbelievers to enjoy; the [fleeting] splendour of this worldly life, which We test them with.” (Quran 20:131)
This again ties in with the idea aforementioned: the more we look, the more we want. Lower your gaze from the Kuffar’s way of life and thereby, preserving your contentedness.
Abandoning Deen For Dunya Post-Marriage
We rely so heavily upon Allah تعالى through du’a and obedience when we are single and searching for a spouse. However, our drive of devotion, that was once so strong and unstoppable, seems to wither once we become married.
Once Allah تعالى has freed us fromhardship by granting us a spouse, many of us remove piety from the forefront of our lives and place it on the back shelf.
If we want our marriage to be enshrouded with blessings, then we must realise that there is only
one that can do this for us, Allah تعالى.
“If they happen to be aboard a ship [caught in a storm], they cry out to Allah تعالى [alone] in sincere devotion. But as soon as He delivers them [safely] to shore, they associate [others with Him once again]. “ (Quran 29:65)