Nikkah in its purest form is no doubt one of Allah’s most beautiful and merciful signs to His creation.

“And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them.” 

However, when done incorrectly, marriage can quickly go from being a source of serenity to becoming a source of stress and conflict. A covenant as delicate and pure as Nikkah is bound to swiftly go downhill when tarnished with the errors and fallacies of the parties involved.

The worst part is, most of these issues are simple and totally avoidable, if only the spouses had educated themselves on the clear and easy-to-follow ‘dos and don’ts’ of marriage. Yet despite the simplistic nature of their errors, the consequences, contrastingly, hold the potential to augment into something deeply complex.

So let’s learn to steer clear from such mistakes, shall we?

Read on as we work to highlight the most common ‘marriage mistakes’ of today whilst also explaining how we can go about avoiding them.

A serene and harmonious marriage is no doubt a great form of rizq from Allah. It’s commonly known that a means of securing rizq is through unapologetic servitude to our Lord. Thus, if obedience opens the doors to provision, then it can also be said that disobedience could close those very same doors.

And from the start, countless couples commit the ‘marriage mistake’ of rebelling against Allah. Firstly, through a haram engagement process where the brother and sister start viewing each other as almost friends, and secondly through dubious weddings that are full of free-mixing, extravagance, and music.

If we want Allah’s rizq (in this case a harmonious marriage) from the start, then we must earn it from the start through strictly shunning deviance and enforcing halal.

This ‘marriage mistake’ brings several people into a matter that was originally just between you and your spouse. Thus, the issue that may have originally been minuscule becomes far larger, having now been beefed up with anger and conflicting opinions from various outside parties.

Hamper the risk of outside forces threatening the peace in your marriage by strictly keeping all touchy matters between you and your husband/wife. Now, of course, there may be unique scenarios where a third party is required, especially if the complexity of the conflict between you and your spouse exceeds what you’re both qualified to deal with. However, even when this is the case, spreading the word about your clash would still be discouraged, as getting a more experienced third party involved means one other person or very few other people.

‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ Often what social media couples show to their viewers is nothing short of a sugar-coated and spruced-up reality of how their relationship really is. Thus, no doubt, gawking at these online couples and believing that such a flawless relationship is possible (spoiler alert: it’s not) will cause you to resent the flaws in your own matrimony. You will begin to strain not only your marriage with unrealistic expectations but also your spouse.

Ignorance of your obligations translates into negligence of your obligations, which essentially results in your spouse being denied their God-given rights. This deprivation is bound to cause frustration, conflict, and an imbalance of power.

Steer clear of this ‘marriage mistake’ by educating yourself on your obligations as a wife/husband to uphold harmony, balance, and justice in your marriage.

Avoiding The 'Marriage Mistakes’

As muslims, we believe every word in the Quran with full certainty and we aim to follow its teachings as well as the teachings in the Sunnah as best we can. Therefore, when the Quran designates marriage as a great sign from Allah and a powerful means of tranquility for His slaves, we accept this as the ultimate truth, thereby banishing any ideology that aims to tarnish and vilify marriage; Feminism.


Feminism has worked to tear down marriage from its mighty status by dubbing it as an oppressive and confining covenant against women.

‘Marriage Keeps Women Financially Subordinate'

Islam does not restrain a women’s financial freedom, in fact Islam consolidates such autonomy, as a woman maintains full control over her wealth (in a manner that is compliant with Allah’s laws). Moreover, the fact that her husband has to provide her all the necessities only strengthens herfinancial position further, as by her husband covering expenses, she is allowed to maximise how much of her own wealth is saved.

‘Marriage Prohibits Female Progression’

The wife’s place is the home. However, the home mustn’t be seen as a prison that shuts out the light; forbidding her from happiness and meaning. Rather on the contrary, the married home is an epicentre of growth and blossoming for the female as it’s often her abode where she will go from being a girl to becoming a woman. For it is the place where she fully comes into the role of a mother, an unarguably mighty and honourable duty and the place she fulfils the weighty responsibility of being the maintainer of the household.

‘Marriage Fuels Patriarchal Oppression’

Islam offers a plethora of teachings emphasising the importance of treating women with softness and grace. The evidence for this is strong, clear and plenty:

“The best of you are those who are the best to their wives”.

“I urge you to take care of the women.” 

"The Messenger of Allah never beat any of his servants, or wives.”

“You should feed her when you feed yourself, clothe her when you clothe yourself, you should not hit her on the face, you should not curse her.” 

‘Marriage Enforces Arbitrary Gender Roles’

Over the past century with a strong continuation into the current century, the wisdom behind gender roles in a marriage have been undermined by Feminism. In Islam, there is no question that men and women each have a different set of strengths so, therefore, it only makes sense that theyhave a different set of responsibilities. Men are more practical and calculative so they have been given the duty of leadership and provision, whereas women are more nurturing and emotionally intelligent thus they have been given the duty of caretaking and motherhood.

Feminism claims that marriage is financially oppressive towards women whilst Islam totally disproves this through preserving a females monetary autonomy both before and during matrimony.

Marriage is vilified by Feminism for halting female development whereas Islam grants women a abundance of opportunities through marriage for self-growth and progress such as motherhood and being the caretaker of the house.

Feminism yet again makes a grave miscalculation by dubbing marriage as harmful and repressive against women. This is disproven by an array of explicitly stated proofs in both the Quran and sunnan

Finally, Feminism works to undermine traditional gender roles, characterising them as backwards and senseless. On the contrary, Islam (as well as secular scientific and physiological literature) have determined women and men to be significantly different mentally and physically thus their roles in society must similarly be different.

4 Things That Feminism Has Gotten Wrong About Marriage

Love languages are a recently explored concept that explain the different ways people prefer to give and receive affection. There are five agreed-upon love languages: 

words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, and physical touch.

 Each person has their own primary love language, and by understanding it, couples can strengthen their relationship and build deeper emotional bonds.

Failing to recognize your partner’s love language can lead to unintended consequences. You may be showing love, but not in a way your spouse truly perceives as love. This isn’t because they’re ungrateful, but rather because the expression doesn’t align with the way they naturally interpret affection.

At first, the concept of love languages may seem confusing—especially since marriage itself can already be complex. But in reality, learning your spouse’s (and your own) preferred form of affection brings clarity, not confusion. It helps you identify which gestures are most meaningful, allowing love to be expressed in ways that resonate deeply.

, speech is a powerful tool for emotional connection. Expressions of praise, appreciation, encouragement, or even simple kind words can uplift them and make them feel valued.

At the same time, they may also be more sensitive to criticism than others. Harsh words can cut deeper than you might expect.

If this is your spouse’s love language, make a conscious effort to use uplifting and compassionate words, while avoiding unnecessary negativity. Thoughtful speech will strengthen your bond and show them they are cherished.

This love language centers on thoughtful actions. A spouse feels deeply loved when their partner helps them—whether it’s cooking their favorite meal, handling errands, or taking care of small but meaningful tasks.

If this is your spouse’s love language, try to show love through practical help. Even small, considerate acts can create a big emotional impact. By easing their burdens, you demonstrate care and commitment.

For some, gifts are a tangible expression of love. The value lies not in the price, but in the thoughtfulness behind the gesture.

A bouquet of flowers, a book they’ve wanted, or a small surprise purchase can make them feel appreciated. Gifts serve as physical reminders that they are loved and remembered.

 feel most loved when they share undivided attention with their spouse. It doesn’t have to involve extravagant trips or lavish outings. Simply sitting together, engaging in meaningful conversation, or enjoying a quiet evening can foster intimacy.

The key is to be present. Put aside distractions—like phones—and invest time into being together. To someone with this love language, time spent with you is the greatest gift.

, affection is best expressed through physical closeness. Hand-holding, hugs, or gentle gestures all communicate warmth and reassurance.

Small touches carry big meaning for them, reinforcing a sense of connection and love.

Every person speaks a different love language. By learning your spouse’s, you unlock the key to expressing love in the way they understand it most. In doing so, you strengthen the emotional foundation of your marriage, turning everyday actions into meaningful gestures of affection.

The 5 Love Languages

Both spouses have been granted their rights by Islam. Although both sets of dues are sacred and safeguarded by the Almighty by His demand of respect for them, the rights of the husband have been enshrouded with greater weight and status. This is made clear by the hadith:

“If I were to command anyone to prostrate to anyone other than Allah, I would have commanded women to prostrate to their husbands.”


In the Sunnah, a woman’s commitment to please Allah is tied to her commitment to please her husband. Furthermore, a woman’s chances of securing Jannah and avoiding Jahannam are directly linked to her attitude towards her husband. Therefore, every woman who is determined to avoid Hellfire, please Allah, and attain Jannah should also be determined to learn about the rights of the husband.

“No woman can fulfil her duty towards Allah until she fulfils her duty towards her husband.” 


Read on as we highlight the basic entitlements given to him as decreed by Allah.

Allah has made the man a qawwām (protector and maintainer) of the woman. One can really learn to understand the beauty of this ruling by looking into the linguistic meaning of qawwām. Many mistakenly allude qawwām to mean an unquestionable boss with complete authority over the wife no matter what the circumstance. Although the husband is due obedience, tyranny is not at all what qawwām is referring to. It comes from the term qiyām: to stand. Thus, the husband is also a strong support for his wife — her rock, helping her ‘stand.’

Thus, the husband has the right to command, direct, and lead the nurturing of his wife. In essence, he has been granted the status of her guardian and protector due to the superiority in mental and physical proficiency given to him by Allah:

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women, because Allah has made one of them to excel the other, and because they spend (to support them) from their means.”

Once the nikkah is complete and the mahr is given, the wife becomes obliged to make herself physically available to her husband. This is one of his greatest rights, and if a wife refuses, she has committed a major sin — unless she has a valid shar‘i excuse such as menses, obligatory fasting, sickness, etc.

“When a man calls his wife to his bed and she refuses, and he went to sleep angry with her, the angels will curse her until morning.”

Conflicts in marriages must be kept to a minimum; this allows for harmony to flourish and blossom. One way to ensure this is by living with each other in kindness. Just as the wife is due grace from her husband, he too is owed similar from her.

“And they (women) have rights (over their husbands as regards living expenses) similar (to those of their husbands) over them (as regards obedience and respect) to what is reasonable.” 

Not Allowing Who He Dislikes Into His House

One of the rights of the husband is that his wife should not admit anyone whom he dislikes into his home.

The family home in Islam is to be treated with honour and respect. Thus, both man and woman have a duty to safeguard the marital household. However, the responsibility to protect the home is heavier upon the wife, as evidenced by the hadith:

“Your rights over your women are that they should not let anyone whom you dislike sit on your bed, and they should not let anyone whom you dislike enter your house.” 

Rights Of The Husband 

Matrimony in Islam is built upon the strong foundations of rights and responsibilities. In a marriage, all rights must be considered — first and foremost the rights of Allah, and then those of the wife and husband.


This blog will be focusing on the prerogatives of the wife given to her by our Creator in regard to her monetary and psychological maintenance. Although her rights are simple and clear, they’re still often misunderstood, with many, especially in the West, being under the impression that the wife has a financial duty over the house and children. Allah has burdened her with no such task, and expecting from her what Allah does not risks falling under the act of ‘oppression.’

Thus, it’s vital to educate oneself about her due — not only to avoid falling into such a heinous sin but also to ensure a marriage of balance and harmony where both parties are fulfilling the other’s rights.


Read on as we go through what the wife is owed from the husband as decreed by Allah in His Book and Sunnah.

Arguably the wife’s greatest entitlement is her right to be provided for. This includes everything necessary such as shelter, clothing, food, etc.

How much monetary maintenance the wife is due — i.e., whether or not the husband’s financial obligation goes beyond what is necessary — is a matter of division among scholars.

However, good treatment and to “live with them honourably” (4:19) is prescribed by Allah. According to some scholars, this ‘good treatment’ exceeds the bare minimum, encompassing the extras that the husband can afford. This view is further consolidated by the verse below:

“Let the rich man spend according to his means; and the man whose resources are restricted, let him spend according to what Allah has given him.”

The wife’s financial rights also regard the mehr (dowry), which she is entitled to once the marriage contract is completed or once the marriage is consummated. This is also a right of mighty weight as, if she is deprived of it, the entire validity of the nikkah will be up for question.

Another right of the wife is access to her own accommodation, meaning a home where she doesn’t have to share a bedroom, kitchen, or bathroom — be it with mahrams or non-mahrams.


Of course, Islam doesn’t order the man to provide what is beyond his means, such as a large house or mansion, but he must be prepared to provide for her a private accommodation according to his means.

Having children is one of the greatest purposes of marriage. This is evidenced by the hadith:

“Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations.”

Apart from being a way to strengthen the ummah and bless a marriage, having children also comes under one of the wife’s rights. This means that a husband is not allowed to use contraception without consulting her, and he must also disclose any fertility issues, if there are any, during marriage meetings/pre-marital discourses.

The husband must treat his wife gracefully and live with her in goodness.

It was also reported by Abu Hurayrah that the Prophet (may Allah’s peace and blessings be upon him) said: 

It is also upon the husband to remain understanding in the face of a possible emotional outburst of his wife, as made clear in the hadith:

“Treat women kindly, for woman was created from a bent rib, and the most crooked part of the rib is the top part, so treat women kindly.”

Rights Of The Wife 

Marriage distinguishes itself from other types of relationships through its far greater value and magnitude. Thus, it’s generally understood that marriage isn’t something that one can jump into unprepared; there are written and unwritten rules that you must familiarise yourself with first to prepare for this substantial commitment.


Not to mention the Islamic laws surrounding matrimony regarding what is halal, what is haram, what is disliked, what is sunnah, and what is obligatory. Learning and memorising these guidelines in our deen is paramount for any brother/sister beginning the quest to secure a spouse.


Thus, given the weight of matrimony, it’s important to know whether you’re prepared to step up to the plate and accept the responsibility of becoming someone’s partner, potentially for life. Marriage can feel like a multiplex of spoken and unspoken directives that have the potential to cause your marriage to either soar and thrive or come crashing down into a fiery frenzy of chaos.

It can all feel overwhelming, and thankfully, matrimony isn’t at all that complicated or volatile if you’re ready to do it correctly. So how can one begin to know whether or not they’re equipped for marriage?

Awareness Of Basic Rights And Obligations

Marriage is Islamically sacred and is built upon mainly two parts: 1. What you owe. 2. What you’re owed. Therefore, it’s vital to the success of the relationship that you’re fully aware of both parts.

The majority of us have our rights memorised to the T, and we’d easily score 100 on any quiz regarding them. Women have their right to be provided for and to be treated kindly burnt into their memory. And every brother could give a flawlessly executed speech on his right to obedience and leadership. However, when the focus shifts from ‘rights’ to ‘obligations,’ the brother’s/sister’s memory suddenly becomes hazy.


So ask yourself: what would be your rights in a marriage, and what would be your obligations?

Your answer to these questions will guide you to know how prepared you are for marriage by highlighting any blank spots in the knowledge you’ll need to fill to be ‘marriage ready.’

You’ll never know how good of a wife/husband you’ll be until you’re married, right? Wrong. Being a good spouse involves qualities such as patience, trust, kindness, God-consciousness, etc. You can assess these characteristics in yourself by looking at how you are in your current relationships (e.g., with friends, parents, loved ones, etc.).


How patient are you? How open are you to compromising? Your answer to these questions will signal your readiness and what you need to work on.

For brothers, a big part of preparation is scanning over their financial situation to determine if they can not only support themselves independently but also a wife, household, and kids.

Sit down and take a serious look at your monetary situation, as this will be a big indicator as to how ready you are to take on the role of husband.

Reality VS Fairytale, Know The Difference

One of the biggest mistakes brothers/sisters make when getting married is that they enter into matrimony with pre-existing expectations adopted from fiction. The reality of the matter is that marriage can, of course, be amazing and life-changing in the best of ways, but no marriage is consistently perfect and joyous. There will be days of conflict and tension. Do you recognise this, and are you ready to deal with these instances maturely?

How To Know You’re Ready

We’re always told what negative traits to watch out for in a suitor. And for good reason, as at the end of the day, with a union as binding and sacred as marriage, we must be really careful not to end up with the wrong one. However, what we often abandon to seek, as the quest to identify any red flags totally occupies us, are green flags.

Interactions with a potential shouldn’t just be furrowed eyebrows and a listening ear waiting for them to trip up and showcase a possible red flag. Although we must take steps not to end up with a deviant, what happened to noticing and appreciating the green flags too?

Read on as we work to highlight some favourable characteristics in a brother/sister that will help you decide if they’re ‘the one.’

Often, when someone’s Islam is poorly established, any questions regarding the deen will earn a squirmy and clumsy answer. Do you pray? Insha’Allah I’ll make it to 5 times a day. What are your views on feminism or the ‘Red Pill’? It has some truth to it, there’s good in everything…

Someone upright on the path will favour Allah’s command unapologetically and will reject what Allah rejects unapologetically. No ifs, buts, or maybes. If they’re ‘the one,’ you’ll be guaranteed to get a straight answer with every Islamic question you ask.

This goes both ways for the sister and the brother — observe how the potential addresses the guardian. A sister who is, insha’Allah, righteous will be patient and attentive in regards to her wali, and she’ll be accepting of his authority.

A brother who showcases righteousness will be respectful with response times. He won’t be hasty but rather happy to continue at the wali’s pace, given that it’s reasonable. Furthermore, a brother who is, insha’Allah, good will understand the wali to be the definitive figure, and his attitude towards the wali will reflect this.

This refers to a suitor fitting the deen into their daily schedule beyond just the basic 5 obligatory prayers. Everyday life can be hectic with work, studies, leisure, and family commitments; however, a sister/brother who is upon good will understand that the chaos of everyday life is no excuse for leaving off sunnah acts — such as dedicating some time to reading Qur’an, reading some pages of Islamic scholarly literature, learning Arabic, etc.

The green flag here isn’t the amount of time but rather the consistency and willingness to increase time dedicated to Allah every single day.

A brother/sister who is genuinely interested in you will make an active effort to listen and engage with what you have to say during marriage meetings. Bonus points if they remember even the smallest details during the next meeting. However, it’s important to note that a hazy memory of what was said in previous conversations is not necessarily a red flag. There are many reasons, other than a lack of interest, why a brother/sister may have a fuzzy recollection.

They're The One

If there’s one thing that all of humanity can agree on, it’s the complexity and fragility of marriage. A matrimony between two people is a lifelong commitment that is guaranteed to be no walk in the park. Marriage is no doubt a glorious endeavour, granting both spouses love and companionship. However, if mishandled and abused, matrimony can quickly down-spiral into tension, conflict, and eventually complete destruction.

Read on to find easy-to-follow tips on how to prevent the unravelling of your marriage, before and during.

This happens all too often. For instance, a sister may be unhappy at her parents’ house and thus hastens to get married just to move out. Or a brother may recognise an array of severe flaws in himself, leading him to rush into marriage under the impression that his wife can solve these flaws.

We mustn’t view marriage as something that it’s not. It’s a journey and a commitment to one another, and sure, it can be a “fix” for many issues such as loneliness or lust. But those issues that are so deeply personal and burdensome must be addressed before nikah. Matrimony has a weight limit, and continuously offloading years of personal baggage onto your marriage will lead to its eventual breakage.

There are many steps one can take to solve any character dilemmas that must be weeded out before marriage. Examples of such dilemmas are frequent anger, lack of religious commitment, depression, excessive anxiety, etc. Some of these issues can be tackled via avenues of self-help such as watching educational videos on the matter or enforcing discipline in our everyday schedules. However, some of the problems mentioned may require professional intervention. Whatever route you take to finding a solution, just ensure that the problems have been addressed and worked on — you owe that to your future spouse.

Marriage meetings can trigger a whirlwind of emotions, especially if the potential spouse is attractive and alluring both in physicality and personality. But sometimes there may be something in this potential that is clearly off in their practice — e.g., they engage in free mixing, partake in innovation, or watch TV/movies. However, we’ve become so attracted to them and hooked on their character (not to mention that after so many failed marriage meetings we’ve also become pretty impatient) that we rush into a nikah with them. A marriage without Islamic foundations will, in due course, crumble and fall apart.

Therefore, make a firm intention with yourself never to compromise on what really matters. Which is? Everything and anything to do with Islamic obligatory practice. If they can’t abide by even the basic prohibitions that Allah has set out, then what value do you think your marriage will have with them?

Confused about what we should look for in a spouse? Well, the Sunnah has outlined clear guidelines for what we should be seeking in a potential. Although they’re very basic, they’re so often overlooked and cast off to the side, leading to many brothers and sisters entering into marriage with the wrong person.

What to look for in a sister: “Seek the one who is religiously committed, may your hands be rubbed with dust (i.e., may you prosper).” (Bukhari)

What to look for in a brother: “When someone whose religion and character you are pleased with proposes to (someone under the care) of one of you, marry her off to him.” (At-Tirmidhi)

Also, observe their behaviour in the marriage meetings and take mental note:

If the meeting is outside, how are the brother and sister towards service workers such as waiters, cleaners, etc.?

How patient are either the brother or sister with the wali when a generational gap becomes apparent — for instance, him struggling with his phone or with simple English sentences?

The common piece of advice is “know your rights,” and I’m sure we’ve all heard it before — but what about your obligations? The easy part is knowing what we’re owed; the hard part is what we owe. So, are we ready? Entering a marriage without being fully prepared to give your spouse what they are due will lead to the other feeling unappreciated and unloved, especially if they’re fulfilling their own obligations. This imbalance can be fatal to the marriage, risking its eventual end.

How To Avoid Divorce

Once we decide that marriage is something we’d seriously like to start thinking about, we begin to dedicate time watching videos, creating lists of questions, and speaking with others who have marital experience to try and gauge the best ways to verify the quality and character of a potential spouse. We often get so tied up in preparing for the vetting process of a brother/sister that we abandon a very important question. Sure, “would you marry someone like them?” but “would you marry someone like you?”


Before we begin to assess the character of someone else, we must first work on building such desired qualities in ourselves, as at the end of the day we can only expect from others what we’re willing to give.

Surely we all have a set of questions ready for our next marriage meeting or a list lying around from a past one (and if you don’t, make one! It’s a great way to prepare). Turn the tables: ask these questions to yourself, and think about the answers you give. Would you be happy hearing them from somebody else?

Some blunt questions you can ask yourself are: How do you use your free time? What are you currently doing to boost your Islamic knowledge? How much time a day do you make for the Quran? What efforts of self-improvement have you undertaken to prepare for marriage? How do you deal with anger? etc.

Perfection exists within Allah, and Allah alone. Thus, everyone — no matter how knowledgeable, soft-spoken, patient, etc. — is in need of self-improvement. We can begin to find our weak points by asking others close to us. This has the same benefit as asking someone else to proofread your essay for mistakes: fresh eyes. We’ve become so comfortable and used to ourselves and our ways that we often become blind to them. Thus, asking someone close to us to pinpoint our character flaws is a great idea, as it offers us a fresh pair of eyes as well as retrospect.

Some questions you could ask them to gauge a thing or two regarding what you need to work on are: When was the last time I hurt you and what did I do? Am I comfortable to be around — why? How do I handle difficult conversations? etc.

Even though getting as close to perfection as possible is our ultimate goal, this is a lifelong process and won’t be achieved within a couple of months of self-reflection and discipline. Understand this and take it one step at a time. Figure out what you can start working on immediately to build yourself up to be a better future husband/wife — such as how much Quran you read a day, whether you pray your 5 prayers, and if so, whether you pray your sunnan, how much effort you put in with your parents, or towards household maintenance, etc.

When it comes to great people to look up to, Alhamdulillah, Islam doesn’t fall short. We are provided with a plethora of noble figures to admire and embody in our everyday lives. Begin to learn about the patience, character, and devotion of the prophets and sahaba. At the end of the day, what better way to start polishing our character than to actively personify the best people to have ever lived?

Would You Marry Someone Like You?


Marriage is something that the majority of us have on our minds. As we progress through adulthood, we begin to prepare — be it by arranging meetings, working on self-improvement in order to make ourselves the best possible husband or wife, and the list goes on. But for brothers, a big part of preparation is reviewing their financial situation to assess whether they can not only support themselves independently but also a wife, a household, and children.

“Men are the protectors and maintainers of women…they spend (to support them) from their means.”

One of the greatest responsibilities of the husband is to sustain his wife in all necessary financial aspects: shelter, clothing, food, utilities, etc. This is one of her non-negotiable rights and arguably one of the heaviest duties that Allah has placed upon the husband. Therefore, it is paramount that a brother realises the divine responsibility entrusted to him to financially maintain her.

All basic monetary needs of the wife must be fulfilled by the husband, and in order for the brother to fulfil this obligation, he must be financially stable. You don’t need to be wealthy before marriage becomes feasible, as 

The question of “to what extent do I need to financially provide for her?” comes with many grey areas. Does this only include necessities? What about luxuries? What about things that are neither a luxury nor a necessity, e.g., allergy pills or preferring one particular brand of food over another?

There is a difference of opinion regarding this matter — whether or not the husband’s financial obligation goes beyond necessities. However, good treatment and to 

 (Quran 4:19) is prescribed by Allah. According to some scholars, this good treatment exceeds the bare minimum, encompassing the extras the husband can reasonably afford.

There are many steps one can take to boost their finances: attending workshops and courses to improve skills and knowledge, working harder at your job to secure promotions, and striving for pay rises.

Of course, we must not forget that the most powerful method to increase our rizq is through obedience to the King of all affairs, Allah. Here are some Islamic routes to increasing one’s provision:

 Humbling yourself before your Lord by recognising your sins and seeking forgiveness is a means of securing His rizq. This is evidenced in the Quran:

“Ask forgiveness from your Lord; Verily, He is Oft-Forgiving; He will … give you increase in wealth and children.” (Quran 71:10-12)

 Maintaining kinship in Islam is a major duty upon all Muslims, and cutting family ties is a major sin. The observance of this responsibility is greatly rewarded, including an increase in rizq. As the sahih hadith says: “Whoever would like his rizq (provision) to be increased and his life to be extended should uphold the ties of kinship.” (Bukhari)

 Although sadaqah involves giving away part of your income, by the greatness of Allah, giving in charity is one of the major routes to increasing and preserving wealth. This is evidenced in the Quran: 

“Truly, my Lord enlarges the provision for whom He wills…whatsoever you spend of anything (in Allah’s Cause), He will replace it. And He is the Best of providers.”

If your financial prospects are currently dim and your hands are tied with money matters, marriage may need to be put on hold until you can stabilise yourself. So, what should you do in the meantime?

Alongside actively working to improve your finances, the Sunnah recommends fasting:

“O young men, whoever among you can afford it, let him get married, for it is more effective in lowering the gaze and guarding one’s chastity. And whoever cannot afford it should fast, for it will be a shield for him.”

Are You Money Ready For Marriage?

“He has made for you pairs from amongst yourselves.”

As our Lord’s divine decree is fleshed out and transformed into a beautiful reality through the matrimony of a brother and sister, it becomes clear that marriage is one of Allah’s many gifts to His creation. Full of blessings and rewards, marriage bursts at the seams with opportunities to please our Creator and elevate our status in both this world and the next.

As soon as the spouses marry in the eyes of Allah, the brother and sister immediately enter a union where they are shielded from temptations, given a multitude of opportunities to earn immense reward, and blessed with a partnership of shared aspirations and values like no other.

So, let’s take a deeper dive into the immense value that marriage grants us as Muslims, by the grace of Allah, and explore how tying the knot ensures blessings upon blessings in both the dunya and the akhirah.

It’s no secret that modern-day society has become a whirlwind of chaos. As the years progress, Islamic values continue to be tossed aside, allowing fitnah and satanic temptations to firmly establish themselves as the trendsetters. The mayhem has become so rampant that not even staying in your homes can guarantee protection — evil can still reach you through devices or even by a passing glance out the window.

In a world where the Muslim is constantly bombarded from all directions with doubts and desires, life can feel overwhelming. But alhamdulillah, Allah offers us a lifeline: a shield from the chaos — marriage. Undoubtedly, marriage is one of the ultimate means of protecting oneself from zina and other sins such as a wandering gaze.

Marriage can offer a woman the immense blessing of what is essentially a fast-track ticket to the highest rank of Paradise, Jannah Al-Firdous. This is evidenced by the hadith:

“If a woman prays her five prayers, fasts her month of Ramadan, guards her chastity, and obeys her husband, she will enter Paradise from any gate she wishes.” 

This is not to say that a single sister cannot reach the most superior station in Jannah. However, securing the most exalted abode in the akhirah would likely require an almost perfect record of deeds, sacrifice, and toil to the highest degree. In contrast, as the hadith shows, a woman can save herself the overwhelming burden of such extensive duty by getting married, being a righteous wife, and continuing to uphold the pillars of Islam.

It is only through marriage that one can fulfil the great Sunnah of raising a large family. This is fundamental to the strength of the Muslim community because as our numbers grow, so too does the ummah.

“Marry those who are loving and fertile, for I will be proud of your great numbers before the other nations.” 

This hadith is not meant to disparage those who are infertile or struggling with infertility. Rather, it highlights that by utilising marriage to have children, we bring joy to our Prophet ﷺ — a goal every Muslim should strive to fulfil.

Matrimony creates a partnership that is unmatched in durability and builds a support system like no other. Spouses uplift one another in both religious and worldly growth — whether it’s memorising the Quran or building a business together.

The dunya is a test full of hurdles, highs, lows, and unexpected turns. Having a teammate with the same ultimate goal as you — earning Allah’s pleasure and, insha’Allah, attaining Jannah — makes the immense challenge of navigating this test far more manageable.

Marriage, The Key To Blessings

The months of tirelessly searching for a spouse are over. The families have met, the love has been established, and the walimah date has been set. What felt like it would always remain a dream, never to realise itself, is finally happening — you’re getting married!

The days to follow are often filled with wedding planning, food tasting, dress fittings, piling expenses, and the list can go on for an eternity. As you’re swept up in a tide of dates and tasks to complete, what is often forgotten about and left at shore are the crucial Islamic principles that must be followed during this delicate period.

The dominant worries that often take precedence are your wallet and the impossibly high expectations of the community around you. The deafening buzz of excitement and pre-wedding nerves can often blindside you from what ultimately should be your main concern: not the expectations of yourself and those around you, but the expectations of Allah.

This has the dangerous outcome of Islamic limits, during both the engagement phase and the walimah, being ignored and very casually stepped over.

There will never be a time where you partake in a transaction that is bigger and more important than marriage, so it’s vital that you learn how to do it right. Read on to learn how to correctly handle the very delicate period that sits between engagement and nikah.

“The evil eye is real, and if anything were to overtake the divine decree, it would be the evil eye.” 

It is important that, during the engagement phase, we remain secretive and only allow those closest to us, as well as those needed for the process, to know. Not everyone will have your best interests at heart, and not everyone will remember to say 

 upon finding out the great news. Thus, it comes as no surprise that concealing your blessings is actually Sunnah. Islam teaches us that if we’ve been blessed by Allah with rizq, then we ought to keep this to ourselves in order to preserve and safeguard the provision.

“Seek help in meeting your needs by keeping quiet, for everyone who is blessed is envied.”

Thus, in the planning and preparation process, remain as low-key as possible and don’t overshare.

Even when both families and yourselves have approved, even when a wedding date has been established, and even when, due to marriage meetings, the ice has been broken between you two — as long as the literal nikah has not taken place, you still remain strangers to each other. The wall of distance often begins to break down between the brother and sister once they’ve become engaged due to them believing that there need not be so much strictness in upholding a barrier between them now. This misconception isn’t only false but also dangerous, as it risks the strict boundaries of Islam being overstepped.

It is obligatory upon both the brother and sister to remember that, until the nikah, they remain strangers to each other. This means no Ikea outings with just the two of you picking furniture for your new home, no bantering around on socials, and no conversing and looking at each other beyond what’s necessary.

Oftentimes the walimah is wrongly used by many to swing open the floodgates of extravagance and luxury, with several families burning through as much as 100k — and sometimes even more — in just one night.

Don’t get me wrong, Islam by no means expects you to skimp out on your walimah and, if anything, actively encourages effort and generosity to be put in when hosting the big day. However, what the deen is explicitly against is the immoderation and excessiveness that so many weddings are tainted with.

With expenses often so high that loans have to be taken out, and several family feuds developing over which side will carry the crushing weight of the total financial burden, the joy of the walimah quickly becomes overshadowed with frustration and stress.

This is supposed to be one of the most important and joyous nights of your life, and by learning the sunnan of weddings, you can ensure that your walimah will be one to remember for all the right reasons. Learn what would be halal, haram, and encouraged in Islam regarding weddings to make sure you avoid earning Allah’s displeasure — and instead earn His blessings and reward.

From Engagement To Nikah

The first marriage meeting. A time met with both anticipation and nerves. For many, this will not only be the first time you’ll get to speak with the brother/sister but also the first time you’ll get to see one another. This encounter could mark the very beginning of a journey that ends with a life-long marriage so, understandably, there’s potentially a lot at stake here. From first impressions, to what questions should be asked, to how you carry yourself and the list goes on. There are bound to be several questions circulating your mind regarding the right and wrong way to ‘meet’ for the first time.


This blog works to outline the main dos and don’ts of the ‘first marriage meeting’ to make sure that your first face to face encounter with the brother/sister is as smooth and bump free as possible.

Finally crossing paths with a brother/sister that is actually suitable for marriage can sometimes feel surreal. Several of us will experience many failed marriage meetings before we finally experience one that actually feels right and where getting married to that particular brother/sister really does seem feasible. This will trigger senses of excitement and eagerness within us, which are understandable and are to be expected after such a long wait. However, these emotions can become dangerous when they cause us to rush the process and become restless. Resulting in you brushing over the vital step that so many others do out of sheer impatience: the vetting process.


Skipping or rushing the vetting process is a mistake committed by too many. Asking around before you sit down with the brother/sister can ensure you know the quality of their temperament and level of their piety. This will shed light on their true character and will help you accurately assess if there is compatibility between you two to an extent where a meeting would be necessary in the first place.

Educating yourself about the islamic purpose of a marriage meeting can ensure you make the most of it and avoid any mistakes that will hinder the meetings efficacy. For instance, many assume that a woman who wears niqab is not allowed to unveil her face for her suitor, this has the undesirable impact of the brother not being able to develop attraction. Thus, the marriage meeting, that would have otherwise been a success, ends up hitting a brick wall.


Learning about the islamic purpose of the marriage meeting can also guarantee that you don’t transgress outside of limits set out by the deen. For instance, you’ll ensure that: her mehram is present, no uanessacry dialogue takes place, no make up is worn etc etc.

Enter The Process Already Knowing What You Want

Before you start looking for a spouse and having meetings, make sure that you already have a rough idea of what you’re looking for and what you’re definitely not looking for. This ensures that during the first marriage meeting you know exactly what to ask and what to clear up with them regarding your expectations for married life. However, make sure any un-negotiable deal breakers are disclosed before the meeting as basic compatibility needs to be established before you can meet.

Not only do first impressions matter, they’re also long-lasting. Meaning that they’re often the first thing that the suitor and their family will remember about you no matter how long it’s been since the first meeting. Therefore, a good first impression can help secure the initial meeting’s success and can brighten how the sister/brother and their family perceive you.


Therefore, take care of your appearance and the clothes you decide to wear whilst staying within Islamic limits. However, remember not to put on a show and be yourself, she/he will not be marrying a decorated and spruced-up version of you, it going to be the ‘real you’, so be the ‘real you' from the get-go.


The bottom line is, when it comes to the first marriage meeting, awkwardness, clumsy conversation and some hiccups here and there are inescapable. But taking serious note of all thats been discussed in this blog can make what is inevitably going to be a fiddly process, go much smoother.

The Sunnah Match Blog