Marriage distinguishes itself from other types of relationships through its far greater value and magnitude. Thus, it’s generally understood that marriage isn’t something that one can jump into unprepared; there are written and unwritten rules that you must familiarise yourself with first to prepare for this substantial commitment.
Not to mention the Islamic laws surrounding matrimony regarding what is halal, what is haram, what is disliked, what is sunnah, and what is obligatory. Learning and memorising these guidelines in our deen is paramount for any brother/sister beginning the quest to secure a spouse.
Thus, given the weight of matrimony, it’s important to know whether you’re prepared to step up to the plate and accept the responsibility of becoming someone’s partner, potentially for life. Marriage can feel like a multiplex of spoken and unspoken directives that have the potential to cause your marriage to either soar and thrive or come crashing down into a fiery frenzy of chaos.
It can all feel overwhelming, and thankfully, matrimony isn’t at all that complicated or volatile if you’re ready to do it correctly. So how can one begin to know whether or not they’re equipped for marriage?
Read on to find out….
Awareness Of Basic Rights And Obligations
Marriage is Islamically sacred and is built upon mainly two parts: 1. What you owe. 2. What you’re owed. Therefore, it’s vital to the success of the relationship that you’re fully aware of both parts.
The majority of us have our rights memorised to the T, and we’d easily score 100 on any quiz regarding them. Women have their right to be provided for and to be treated kindly burnt into their memory. And every brother could give a flawlessly executed speech on his right to obedience and leadership. However, when the focus shifts from ‘rights’ to ‘obligations,’ the brother’s/sister’s memory suddenly becomes hazy.
So ask yourself: what would be your rights in a marriage, and what would be your obligations?
Your answer to these questions will guide you to know how prepared you are for marriage by highlighting any blank spots in the knowledge you’ll need to fill to be ‘marriage ready.’
Health Of Current Relationships
You’ll never know how good of a wife/husband you’ll be until you’re married, right? Wrong. Being a good spouse involves qualities such as patience, trust, kindness, God-consciousness, etc. You can assess these characteristics in yourself by looking at how you are in your current relationships (e.g., with friends, parents, loved ones, etc.).
How patient are you? How open are you to compromising? Your answer to these questions will signal your readiness and what you need to work on.
Sufficient Funds (For Brothers)
For brothers, a big part of preparation is scanning over their financial situation to determine if they can not only support themselves independently but also a wife, household, and kids.
Sit down and take a serious look at your monetary situation, as this will be a big indicator as to how ready you are to take on the role of husband.
Reality VS Fairytale, Know The Difference
One of the biggest mistakes brothers/sisters make when getting married is that they enter into matrimony with pre-existing expectations adopted from fiction. The reality of the matter is that marriage can, of course, be amazing and life-changing in the best of ways, but no marriage is consistently perfect and joyous. There will be days of conflict and tension. Do you recognise this, and are you ready to deal with these instances maturely?