When asked what type of husband/wife you want, the answer, more times than not, is vague. The answer will allude to characteristics such as righteousness, grace, kindness, etc. But what are the attributes in a person that will lead to the qualities given above? This question will often leave people stumped as they struggle to put their finger on the particular characteristics that make a spouse pious and nurturing.
Read on as we aim to shine light on the specific qualities that make someone ‘the best person to marry’. Learn not only to recognise these traits but also work on adopting them as your own if you haven’t already.
The Trusted
This is a person that shows respect for your private matters and doesn’t share them with anyone else. They’re like a gatekeeper for your secrets. This characteristic is so valuable, as trust and the ability to keep private matters private is paramount to the success of any marriage. This ensures that any conflicts or dirty laundry are strictly kept between you and your spouse and won’t spill out in conversation with the in-laws or any other third party.
This not only allows for tensions to be dealt with intimately between you and your wife/husband but also, having a spouse who is trustworthy, puts your mind at ease as you can be rest assured that all requests to keep something a secret will be respected and honoured.
The Driven Devotee
A driven devotee describes a slave of Allah that is determined to learn the deen and increase in knowledge, to help them be the best possible husband/wife/mother/father they can be.
For instance, such a person will understand that in order to fulfil the sacred responsibility of being a husband/father, i.e. to lead in enjoining good in the household and forbidding evil, they must have strong foundational knowledge of Islam. Similarly, a wife who falls into this category will understand that in order for her to fulfil her duty as a mother, i.e. teaching and nurturing her children to be the best Muslims possible, she must have a strong grasp on what is central in Islam.
The Unapologetically Pious
A spouse that is unapologetically pious will be one who never compromises when it comes to their duty to Allah. Having such a partner can ensure that they’ll, Insha’Allah, always refrain from admitting fitnah into the home, be it in the form of tv, film, bad language, deviant friends, riba-based mortgages, etc.
An unrighteous spouse can strip the marriage from baraqah; thus, having a spouse that will always put Allah first is chief to the success of any matrimony.
The Serene Servant
A man said to the Prophet ﷺ, "Advise me!” The Prophet ﷺ said, "Do not become angry and furious." The man asked (the same) again and again, and the Prophet ﷺ said in each case, "Do not become angry and furious.” (Al-Bukhaari)
The ability to hold one’s temper even in the most testing of circumstances is a strength that is highly praised and rewarded for in Islam. And for good reason, it’s a difficult trait to master; thus, a spouse that’s managed to tame their anger and prioritises rationale over rage easily falls into the category of being one of the best people to marry.